Wow Janurary Companion Piece

And it begins like…

This party, the same party she got dragged to by her friends. The same party she vowed not to enjoy. Standing near the door closest to the window, her eyes roamed observing the usual reckless teenage antics, the hushed whispers, the sloppy kisses, the regrets. That’s what would come of this night. And Monday, they’d all retreat back to school, wrapped up in their secrets. It wasn’t until she met a pair of eyes looking back at her that her observations stopped. There was one thing that she saw vivid and clear and it was this boy, who seemed to be lost in her eyes. After a few awkward glances, she looked away. Wanting this boy to look anywhere but her, but willing for him to sulk over to her.
Deciding that enough time had passed and that it was safe her to look over, she didn’t find the boy in the spot he had been in before. A twinge of disappointment spread through her body, until she noticed the figure standing nearly a foot away from her. It was the boy, against her own will, the corners up her lip tugged, her body betrayed her, as much as she told herself over and over to stay still, to not make a move, to not get into anything like this again, she couldn’t. He had some power over her that she’d never seen before. Her eyes glistened. Blinking several types as to will the tears away, when she finally looked up, the warm feeling of happiness invaded. She saw stability in his eyes. She saw life. Saw love. What she wanted, what she needed. She had to get closer, become one with this person. Casting away any thoughts of doubt, of possibly regretting this. One step forward and she the ground running.
As soon as her hands met his chest, he pulled her forward, into a hug of some sort. But so much more than that, both taking in each other’s love. The love that they both needed so much to find. To hold on to , the love they needed to use. With her head on his chest, she listened to the beating of his heart, sounding stable, sounding real. It was in sync with her own, as if it was the match. She could see him. Although she didn’t know his favorite color, his pet peeves or if they’d ever really be together, she didn’t care. As long as his heart kept feeding hers love, she’d be here. Looking up she hoped to see the same awestruck hopelessly in love look she wore on her own face, and there it was, the same look if not amplified. And she kissed him.

Some time passes by…
She was in love, at least she thought it was. Even if he wasn’t, she needed him to pretend to be in love. She needed to pretend she was in love. After all didn’t they do all the things that people in love did?. She said I love you, and It came so easily, never strained, never hard to do, and he said I love you too. That meant that he loved her. And who was she to not believe that this was love, there were the cute glances shared when with people, the indulging in lovesick smiles and lullabies of the lips, they continued like this for weeks, months even. Than somewhere during that transition from the warm spring to the coldest winter, they died out. The kisses they shared turned into brief moments of handholding, the love you’s that were uttered were now casual goodbyes. Winter turned into spring, spring evolved into summer, and they fell like stars hanging by just strings. She found herself leaving, going away to summer camp, where she would find another who she would claim to be in love with, and just as easily as she gave her love, she would take it away, over and over and over again. She was desperately trying to fill the void that was left in her heart, constantly telling herself that if she loved and was loved back, the ache would go away.

And it ends like this.

And she brought this on them. On him. Unknowingly, she tore his heart to pieces. She’d contaminated him with the same ache that lived inside of her. She knew she would leave his questions unanswered, she knew he’d hurt. But nothing mattered to her except finding the match to her heart. Because if she was okay, everything would fall into place.

- Hokie